I want to.believe my parents do care (as they send me to doctors regularly for physical health problems), I think it's more of a case of denial.
Lastly, If you did go to a doctor/therapist/psychologist, how did you handle the situation? Did you just say things that you've been going through, did you just say 'I think I have such and such?' Sorry if I seem too Tumblr, But I'd hate to self diagnose! I may delete later out of embarrasdment, sorry lolcow. It'll be nice to know if I'm normal, but then its sort of a reassurance If I do turn out to have something even though I know it can't change the past, and it can't be an excuse for my shortcomings. I'm trying to restrict myself from reading some mental illness pages because I don't want to read them and convince myself that I have it when I don't.
Idk, I also believe that if I think I have something, then it may not be true. Many more things, but then this post will become too long.), and emotional wise. In which I thought that weird ass shit was totally acceptable at the time. Possibly a dumb question, sorry: How did y'all convince yourself (and if you're young, your parents/guardians) that you want to get help/a diagnoses? Idk, my whole life I've been a total fuck up behavioural wise (anger tantrums(and then feeling bad immediately after), having different periods of time when I think mg relations are either out to get me/kill me, different periods where I feel that everyone I meet secretly hates me and laughs and talks behind my back, a secret society or government is watching me in my house, staying up crying because I'm afraid to die/be alone, excessive daydreaming that has interfered with mom work, isolating myself, getting paranoid and strong anxiety, strange long term obssessions with different things that could have messed with that time period of my life, so awkward that people tend to stay far away from me, doing absolutely weird ass shit according to my family and friends. But inside I think, do not go with them, they are going to hurt you! they are going to kill you and strangle you and that will be the day you die. Someone asks me to hang out, I say I will let them know later and smile. I think about the horrible things that will happen to me, dismembered, raped, tortured,killed. The man that walks behind me is out to kill me, I think (i think this way I mean). I walk down the street and it's terrifying. That they laugh at me behind my back about how pathetic and stupid I am. I can't see my doctors because I feel like they want me to kill myself, they want me dead. I see a book fall and I think it means that a relationship with someone is over for example. I try to tell myself that this is unlikely but it still scares me.
COVET FASHION HACK TOOL KICKASS TORRENTS CODE
Like there is a secret code in the words they say. My anxiety is going through the roof again I hear the television noise or the news and I feel like they are talking to ME.
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